Father at birth. Yes or no? The pros and cons
Many people perceive childbirth as a purely feminine and intimate matter. The possibility of the partner himself being a part of the birth is becoming more and more popular. Some mothers see this as a trend that came to us from "America", but it is necessary to realize that the presence of the father during the birth has many benefits. This is one of the ways to help a woman during childbirth. Just the presence and touch of a loving partner can be a great boost for a mother during childbirth. Of course, the presence of the father during the birth is primarily at the decision of the pregnant woman. Last but not least, it is important that the partner himself wants it. Before the birth itself, it is also important to find out in the maternity hospital under what conditions an accompanying person is allowed during the birth.
Author:Emily Anderson
Updated: 07.12.2023
Can the father be present at the birth? Today, every woman has the right to an accompanying person during childbirth, and most maternity hospitals today comply with this requirement. So yes, the child's father can be present at the birth. However, each maternity hospital has different conditions and it is important to inform yourself about this possibility. In the past, this option was charged, today hospitals should not ask for a fee for the presence of a close person during the birth. From the point of view of the partners and especially the pregnant woman, it is crucial to consider whether, in her imagination, a man is a reinforcement or a burden during childbirth. If a woman wishes for a man to be present during childbirth, the partner must agree with this, otherwise negative emotions can easily cause complications in the relationship. What are the advantages if the father is at the birth and vice versa, what are the disadvantages ? Why is it appropriate for a man to be present at the birth and how can the father be helpful during the birth ?
Accompanying person during childbirth - price, law and practice
The very conditions regarding the presence of an accompanying person during childbirth are currently set by the specific maternity hospital by internal regulations. Unofficially, it is true that the mother has the right to have a close person during the birth. Most maternity hospitals in Slovakia allow the presence of another person during childbirth. However, it is not a legal claim (law). In certain cases, the premises, operating conditions or circumstances related to a specific pregnancy also affect compliance with this requirement. Attendance may be conditional upon attending a lesson or lecture. Most often, it is the child's father, but there are also cases when a close person during childbirth is the mother of the mother, a best friend or a birth doula (a trained worker who provides psychological and physical support to a woman during childbirth and in the postpartum period).
We recommend that you find out in advance the conditions under which the accompanying person or father can be at the birth in the given maternity hospital. From June 1, 2024, an amendment to the law approved by the parliament will enter into force, which will have a legal character. By law, every woman will be entitled to be accompanied during childbirth. According to the new law, the presence of several people during childbirth will also be legally possible, if the conditions of the medical facility allow it. In this case, however, other persons may be charged. According to the amendment, the restriction can occur only in the case of the necessity of performing an acute procedure, in which case the presence of the escort may be denied to the necessary extent and for the necessary time.
In today's practice, it often happens that the father or another person close to the woman is not allowed even during a standard birth, or the father is allowed to give birth only in the final phase. The law is intended to ensure that such situations do not arise and that the escort is entitled to a continuous presence. The accompanying person can be with the mother from the time of admission to the maternity ward, during the birth, to the admission to the room after the birth. In the case of state hospitals, the founder of which is the Ministry of Health of the Slovak Republic, the fee (as of February 2018) for the presence of a close person during childbirth was abolished. Nevertheless, cases are known in practice when, even after this period, the hospital collected a fee for the presence of another person during the birth. Private or foreign maternity hospitals have their own internal standards and provisions, and it is likely that this option will be charged for.
Father by caesarean section?
Based on the approved amendment to the Health Care Act, a caesarean section can be considered an acute intervention. In such a case, the maternity hospital will have the power to prevent the presence of an accompanying person in the delivery room to the necessary extent and for the necessary time due to the incompatibility of the presence of such a person and the nature of the medical procedure itself. In the case of section, i.e. delivery by caesarean section, it is a specific and often acute matter. However, the situation is different if the cesarean birth is planned. In such a case, in the practice of Slovak hospitals, although rare, there are known cases in which the father was allowed to be present during the delivery by section.
Practice shows that, while abroad, the presence of the father or of a close person is relatively common even with caesarean section, in our country this option is waived in the case of a section and the presence of a close person is often prohibited in such a case. The father usually waits in the corridor, in the room or is forced to go home. Such cases are also confirmed by the real experiences of mothers. However, it must be admitted that many times it can be individual cases and specific medical reasons that may arise. Also abroad, there are cases when the presence of a close person in the delivery room was not possible.
Several scientific studies have shown the positive impact of the presence of an escort on women giving birth and their postpartum conditions. The presence of a close person during the birth even significantly increases the probability of a standard vaginal birth and reduces the need to induce - accelerate the birth with synthetic oxytocin. Psychological studies, in turn, have shown that women are not traumatized after giving birth and have a lower risk of developing postpartum depression.
Father during childbirth - benefits
The presence of the father during the birth is primarily decided by the woman herself. His presence during childbirth can be enormously beneficial, as evidenced by thousands of real, emotional and positive stories of women. If there are possibilities to help a woman during childbirth, the presence of the father in this situation can be a great benefit in itself. If you are not sure whether the presence of a man during childbirth is correct, perhaps the following benefits will convince you. However, the most important thing is that you agree on this step as a partner and that both of you are familiar with the situation.
Psychological and physical support
A strong relationship between two people is based on trust and understanding. The father of the child and especially the pregnant woman must realize that she is not alone in this situation. And it doesn't even have to be like that during the birth itself. The familiar face of a loving partner can be a huge boost among the unfamiliar faces of the medical staff. If your husband was your support during morning sickness, while you went for regular check-ups to the gynecologist and was there during the first contraction, the impulse that he will not leave you alone even during the last step is a huge emotional and psychological support. Yes, the traditional hand holding and face gazing may be overrated for someone at such a moment, but it is only proof of the strong bond between both partners. Communication is also important, which can help a woman perceive the whole situation.
A strong bond with the baby
No cliches or abstract reality. A father who sees the birth of a child becomes much more aware of what just happened and that a new life has come into the world. A desire that he had so far perceived only through his mother's belly and through mediated feelings. The moment when he sees a crying baby in the delivery room for the first time creates a strong emotional imprint. If the circumstances allow, he and the mother will be the first person in contact with the baby. One of the powerful moments can also be when dad cuts the umbilical cord. However, consult this step with your wife and subsequently with the obstetrician.
Primary care
In some cases, the father is the "first person" who, together with the medical staff, provides initial care for the baby. Childbirth does not always have to go according to expectations and various complications may appear. After giving birth, the woman may have to undergo additional stitches due to the rupture of the perineum, caesarean section, anesthesia, and the father may be the one who takes care of the first strong connection and assures the woman that the newborn is safe. Alternatively, he can be the one who will be with the woman until the medical staff makes it possible and gives her the energy she needs. It provides the child with close body-to-body contact (bonding), thereby creating a strong emotional bond.
Assistant and right hand
A first-time mother experiences this feeling for the first time, but arriving at the hospital before giving birth can be quite stressful. Not to mention that the beginning contractions, the outflow of amniotic fluid and other accompanying symptoms can significantly upset a pregnant woman. At the same time, she thinks about whether she has a purse with her, packed all her clothes and necessary things for the room, whether she forgot her insurance card and the like. There is no need to worry, your partner is here to take care of the logistics, transport you safely to the hospital parking lot and bring you, laden with bags, to the room where, in addition to him, the doctors will take care of you. He should be your coach, supporter and distributor of love and tenderness. And sometimes, on the contrary, it is enough for women if their partner is just silent support.
Communication with doctors and staff
Doctors probably roll their eyes at this paragraph, but the experiences of some mothers say that the presence of a partner evoked in them that the staff is more willing and respects their requests more in the presence of the child's father or an escort. In reality, however, it is mainly about the fact that it provides a communication process that can simplify or speed things up. He calmly calls the nurse, addresses the doctor and, even during the birth, shows an inevitable degree of interest in the birth, which is taking place before his eyes. However, this is not a legal rule, but the very effort to inform the woman about everything that is happening is reassuring for her and once again only confirms that she is not alone at this moment and "together is the most beautiful place".
Father during childbirth - disadvantages
The presence of the father during the birth does not always mean only advantages. The negative presence of a partner during childbirth can have a bad effect not only on the mother herself, but also on the medical staff and other mutual relations between the partners. The decision on whether a man will be present at the birth is therefore a good idea to consult with each other in advance. What are the disadvantages if the father is present at the birth?
- From the beginning, the partner was not sure of his presence during the birth, which can cause his nervousness and uncertainty, which he will transfer to the mother herself.
- In acute situations, the presence of the father during the birth can complicate procedures for doctors and can act as a stress factor.
- The child's father may experience nausea (fear of blood) or panic, which can cause complications for the medical staff and cause concern for the mother as well.
- Inappropriate behavior, incorrect actions or communication can cause later problems in the mutual relationship - ideas about support during childbirth can differ among partners, which will cause unnecessary complications in the relationship.
- Childbirth can cause negative consequences for a man, which will cause deficiencies in further intimate partner life.
The woman chooses the birth attendant
It is advisable to discuss the topic of the partner's presence during childbirth in time and not when the situation itself arises. It is one thing if the mother- to-be wants a partner to be present during the birth, but from his expressions it can be perceived that he does not feel that way. Maybe he wants to be a support, but he feels that it is something intimate, something specific that he should not witness and he does not feel like it. There is no need to be angry with your partner and look for adversity or insufficient love. The mother always has the last word. A woman can also be worried that her partner will see her in an uncomfortable situation, helpless, in pain with grimaces, and the idea of having a bowel movement or vomiting and the subsequent feeling of embarrassment can frighten the future mother. Processes that are not uncommon during childbirth. After all, it is the woman who decides whether or not she wants someone other than doctors at the birth.
If, in the end, a woman decides that her mother, best friend, professional doula or midwife will support her during childbirth instead of her partner, there is no need to feel guilty. You need to talk to your partner and explain to him that this is not an act of mistrust or an expression of a lack of love and understanding. Communication is important. You can also decide on a compromise that the man will come directly to the room in the final phase, when the more demanding part of the birth is behind you. Even the father himself must clarify his feelings and ask himself if he can handle such a situation. It is perfectly fine to admit that being in the delivery room would not be pleasant for the man himself and would not be beneficial for the mother either. Many doubts can be alleviated by attending birth preparation courses.
Father during childbirth - experience
Opinions on the presence of the father - husband during childbirth are very diverse. Some women report in their experiences that the husband was their "midwife" and support. Many women were helped by their partner's touches and smiles during childbirth. One of the discussants holds the idea that together they can handle everything, and the partner completed both of her births and was a great support, and he himself described this experience as an experience. Women also confirm that the decisive action of their partner confirmed that they have the right person by their side. Many times the partner was helpful even in critical situations. On the other hand, there are the opinions of women who did not want a partner during childbirth, because they were worried that they would pass out, be more stressed and be more of a burden for them.
The most frequent questions - FAQ
Are you a future father and would you like to support a woman during childbirth? As a future mother, do you want to be able to hold your partner's hand during childbirth? Under what conditions is the presence of the father at the birth possible? Does the law allow it? When can the father be present at the birth? Can the father be at the caesarean section? You will read the most important things in our article. You can also read the real experiences of other mothers. We will also be glad if you share your experience. Below the article, you have a discussion section where you can freely express your opinions.
Can the father be at the birth?
How to help a woman during childbirth?
What are the disadvantages if a man is in labor?
Can the father be present at the caesarean section?
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